Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.
Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.
How could she not fall for him? Dove’s only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is of to a galloping, farting start.
Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you’re not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.
Elegant, modest, and graceful.
Those are all words that DO NOT describe this book.
There are so many farts and burps in the chapters, I just couldn’t fathom how someone could have that much gas. SMH I just can’t.
(I never thought I’d type those ^ words for a review. O_o)
BUT, Fire Down Below was: out of this world, entertaining, and daring! 😀
If you haven’t seen the countless teasers for this book, please run now to Debra’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram page and you’ll know what I’m talking about! This story is not for the faint-hearted, but it IS for those who enjoy big laughs and eccentric plots. So many of the lines are outrageous fun, and the dialgue is slapstick funny.
She was silently laughing, and her face looked like a frozen Han Solo in her effort to keep quiet.
How hysterical is that line?! I mean, everything in that sentence makes you envision it in real life and that makes it even funnier.
Also, I’ve never been so hungry and wanted to go to an Olive Garden so badly after reading a book. Is that wrong? (You’ll know what I mean once you read it.) This is not a plug for OG, but if everyone in the world would read this book, that place would make so much bank due to how much it’s mentioned and enticing the characters make it sound. That, and for the INSANE stuff that happens in that one little restaurant! AGAIN, not a plug. 😉
Oh! Mr. and Mrs. Anastasia make cameos in this story and once again, it’s priceless. Mr. A must love how much adoration he receives in this book! Can’t compete with a love like theirs. *side eyes and slowly backs away*
Underneath all the humor, there is a really sweet love story. Dove is just a girl who wants a hot romance…without all the mishaps and jinxes following her. ❤
Am I crazy? Yes.
Am I crazy to want MORE of this series?! No.
Why? Because there is a love triangle brewing that I can’t wait to read about!
If you haven’t made up your mind yet, I’ll leave you with this beauty so you get a taste of Dove’s wit:
Johnson missed his mouth when he went for a sip of wine, so Dove passed him her napkin. He began to blush, stammering, “Sorry, your smile made me forget where my intake orifice was.”
All my orifices know where you are—especially the ones that grow hair.
O_O !! Go on, and grab you copy of Fire Down Below! Let me know what you think! ❤
Want more books by Debra Anastasia!? Don’t wait any longer!
(Poughkeepsie Brotherhood #1)
(Seraphim #1) (Novella)
Debra Anastasia is busy, just like every other mom. There’s dinner, the dogs, the two kids, the two kids, and her ongoing battle with…ahem… digestive issues, which combined with her adolescent boy sense of humor makes for colorful and sometimes cringe-worthy social media updates. Her first love and crowning achievement is her thriving career as the weirdest mom on the block.
She’s eternally grateful to Omnific Publishing, which has now published four of her books: two in the Seraphim Series and two in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series, as well as her novella, Late Night with Andres. That one is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) She also very much appreciates her open-minded readers, who embrace everything she has to offer, with a focus on anti-heroes and bathroom humor.
Debra lives in Maryland with her family. You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared.